Sharon Rifilato’s Success Story
A Lesson in How to Play the Hand You’ve Been Dealt
SUCCESS IN LIFE is about much more than making money. It’s about living life to the fullest and looking for the sunny side of life even when days are cloudy. Here’s how one woman’s lifelong involvement in crafts has helped her cope with multiple sclerosis (MS) and get through many difficult days.
SHARON RIFILATO was an inspiration to me when I first met her in the mid-1990s and wrote about her in my “Selling What You Make” column in Crafts Magazine. That column ceased publication years ago, but Sharon and I have stayed in touch by e-mail since then, and I continue to be inspired by her fierce determination to live life with a joyful heart in spite of the debilitating disease that has now made her dependent on others.
“I would be lost without my crafts,” Sharon would be quick to tell you. Now in her sixties, she says she is a “craftaholic” who has been crafting since the age of seven when she first began to make ashtrays for her aunts out of the large chowder clam shells she found on the beach. Later she got involved in crocheting and knitting. In 1991, when she began to have problems with her left hand, she found she could no longer crochet. A year later she learned that she had multiple sclerosis. By then, she was coping with additional physical problems, including a weakened left leg.
“The everyday ripple effect of a dreaded disease is physically, emotionally, and financially devastating to someone like me who has been active all her life,” Sharon told me when I first connected with her. “But I told myself I was lucky to still have my eyes and 50 to 75 percent use of my left hand, so I began to look at all the extra time I had at home as a gift, and prayed I’d be given enough strength to keep crafting.”
Crafts as Therapy
By 1995, after more than two years of ups and downs, Sharon was able to work in her craft room six to eight hours a day. Crocheting and knitting were almost impossible by then, but she soon found dozens of other crafts that gave her as much pleasure, including needlepoint on plastic canvas, painting T-shirts and sweatshirts, flower arranging, decoupage, woodburning and machine embroidery. Her friends sold her crafts where they worked, and sometimes she sold through a home party plan.
“My craftwork has always had great therapeutic value,” says Sharon. “I am rarely depressed when I’m in my craft room. It’s a very special place where I can go and just be with my creations.”
Tools and Techniques
Instead of getting depressed each time she noticed yet another thing she could no longer do, Sharon’s never-give-up-attitude and determination enabled her to find ways to improvise and adjust to her disability. When I wrote about her in my Crafts column, she was using a sewing machine, electric drill and palm sander, and had invented special methods of working. For example, not having the strength in her left hand to hold something down, she washed a building brick, dried it, wrapped it in naugahyde, and used it as a left hand when she needed to hold something down.
Then and now, when her fingers or hand just won’t grab, she uses magnet holders or magnet picker-uppers. Rubber-handled scissors, knives and screwdrivers also make her life easier. When she needs a tight hold on something, she uses a vice wrench.
The Power of Positive Thinking
Before MS, Sharon believed she could do anything she wanted. She was strong, took time for granted, and thought she’d never tire. “After MS, life suddenly became a whole new way of restructuring,” she says. “Now I can no longer do anything I want, but I can do some things with a slight inconvenience and minor adjustment. No longer strong physically, I now ration my strength and try to put it to wise use.”
Sharon purchased a word processor in 1995 so she could communicate easier. When she finally got involved on the Internet a year later, the whole world opened up to her and she found others with MS that she could communicate with. Although homebound now, Sharon has help from her daughter, and enjoys her ground-floor apartment and power wheelchair that enables her to get out into the courtyard. But the focal point of her day revolves around getting to her computer, doing a craft project, or making new plans and goals.
Today, Sharon is able to crochet a little at a time. “I never gave up my most loved gift,” she says. “I just keep the yarn close to me so I can see it and pick it up occasionally. I am homebound now so a lot has changed. But when I get to the computer or look through all my “stuff” and make plans and goals, I am rarely depressed. I have amazed myself in how I’ve been able to accept all these changes. A therapist has told me I’m in “healthy denial.”
Life is Like a Baseball Game
After I wrote an article on the above topic, Sharon wrote to say that she could really relate to my talking about life in the framework of a baseball game.
“Some days, you STRIKE OUT, some days you GROUND OUT, and some days you hit that GRAND SLAM. And it is a glorious day. Because of my MS, things are not like I want them to be. I am still struggling, plodding along, doing little by little … only now I am getting eager to do the things I WANT to do, not the things I HAVE to do. Doing the things that make me happy. You know … that HOME RUN that makes the day all worth it … or hitting that DOUBLE that pushes a run in.
“You said we needed to constantly explore new territory, test new ideas and theories, and S-T-R-E-T-C-H ourselves as we keep learning. During the day, I always try to take a “7th inning stretch.” I get up, turn and walk some steps away, and take an EMOTIONAL and SPIRITUAL STRETCH. Looking skyward, with my chin and arms up, fingers stretched apart, I PUSH as hard as I can, willing all the negativity to flow from my feet, up through my arms, and out from my outstretched fingers. (On days when I can’t get up, I turn in my chair and do these things sitting down.)”
What a good idea, Sharon! Sounds like something I ought to be doing every day myself. How about you, dear reader? Why don’t you get up right now and reach to the heavens. Let all the worry and negativity that may be in your heart right now flow up and out, and then get back to doing something you love that gives you special pleasure.
Be Grateful Rather than Hateful
SHARON BELIEVES that many people who encounter a detour in life just give up
or get angry, but she has always seen her disability as a gift of life. “I will continue to explore my limitations and open myself and others to a new special world that might not have been brought to my attention had I not been diagnosed with MS. My philosophy is that we should all be grateful rather than hateful, and share rather than despair.”
You can e-mail Sharon at MsMIRACL1 @ AOL dot-com (not clickable to protect her privacy; type it out accordingly).
“I’ve got dreams in hidden places and extra smiles for when I’m blue.” – Author Unknown
“Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you.” – Maori Proverb
“I have found that if you love life, life will love you back.” – Arthur Rubinstein
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Comments
Thank you for sharing Sharon’s story! She is a huge inspiration and a reminder to remember what is important. Many hugs to you!!! Laura Lynn
Sharon, your story has touched me in such a profound way. You are truly a role model of sheer genius as you developed ways to overcome every obstacle that stood in the doorway of your success! Congratulations on having the positive mindset to find ways to follow your heart! You are the epitome of everything I have ever wanted to be, an inspiration to others.
Please write your book and let me know when it has been published so that I can buy your first copy!
Thank you to Barbara Brabec for her caring heart, her talent, and her ability to unite creative souls through her constant efforts and words of wisdom. I am honored to be among her friends and fans.
I would be honored to be considered your friend and fan as well. All the best to you in all your future endeavors!
Way to go Mom!!!!